“Your mind is playing tricks on you!”
Who is this tricking me with these dreams? What are these constructs that keep building in my head? Where are MY thoughts? And who is this man lurking in the dark corner of the room?
I can sense the words that he seem to usher in my head. They fit in their place like they are meant to in a sentence. They making meaning in their own vague way like they were meant to. Oh get off my head!
When did I start losing control over my mind? Oh I meant my dreams! Who had taken control over it? Is it this man sitting in a chair, wearing this suit of a deep dark blue, darker than the black night too? What does he want?
What is this room? Why is it empty? It has a bed, a side table with water jug and a couple of glasses, a painting on the wall of a village sea, a window with thick drapes blocking the light, a chair in the corner with this man, and me. It is not empty in the logical sense but still feels emptier than the emptiest room I had seen in my life. Emptier than my heart on a cold windy night.
I can’t see his face as it keeps moving faster as he speaks this soundless words into my head. Which had made their meaning clear. But have I understood it!? How is that you can know the meaning but not understand it, you ask. Tell me, are you not living your life in bewilderment. But I’m syncing those words to his face. Now I think I begin to understand. He says,
“Your mind is playing tricks on you!”
Like I do not know that already. I wanted to scream, but I can barely fletch my brain for a thought. Demanding to move a muscle was a task too much. Then I realised I wasn’t there in the room, though I was. Then I became the room, aware of the physicality of it. But my awareness began to test me. Weirdly the room shifted into a dimension I wasn’t yet aware of. It is a possibility to which I’m not yet part of. Leaving me in the darkness of my mind. But the man was still there, sitting in the same spot. Making those same thought sounds with his face like the damn crickets in the night. But there was no chair no more. Just an emptiness beyond the room. Which looked much emptier than the room. His head slowly sped down and the face was beginning to take a shape. I knew in my head already, I was not yet ready to face him. Not yet. I needed to wake up now. I told myself,
“Your mind is playing tricks on you!”
Photo by EDWARD HONAKER