“Why do you do this to yourself?”
“Do what!?”
“This whatever you are doing. This degenerative thing you do to your self..”
“Well…!”
“Why? You obviously seem to know there’s no exit. It’s gonna be one big loop after another until you lose the momentum. Whatever this inner weight you’re pulling isn’t gonna matter for this spin.”
“Yes, I’m aware”
“Then why pull this shit. Drag it longer than its necessary? Why do you need to find the needles out of thin air and bare your chest open to it?”
“Wow, you’re on a roll today!”
“I need an answer, I just need to hear it. For our own satisfaction. Why choose this pain? Why choose this self inflicted sorrow? Aren’t you scared that someday it might kill you!?”
“What doesn’t kill you in here? This smoke, this drink kills. Even this food is gonna kill me. Not today, but someday. This air I breathe, this corrosion in the stem of my being, everything kills. In all this uncertainty in life, death is the only certainty. So everything tends to push you to the edge of life. Even time kills as it passes. And people are so worried about killing time, while it slowly eats up their living soul with boredom. It etches into life, like a woodpecker, tick tock, tick tock. Fuck death. You know how to ruin the taste of death and puke it out of your soul. By living. Without being shit scared every moment of your life. Do what you fear the most. People are so scared of heartbreaks so they choose to be easy. Settle down. I say fuck that. Fall pathetically in love. Love with disgrace. When it fails, succumb to the pain. Embrace that and sink like the simmering star into the dark void. Be blown away into bits and dust. Become stardust. Become life.”